Are Parrots Smart?
Smart enough. Smart enough to let humans think they are training them. They aren’t. Smart enough to call the dog over to poop on their head for entertainment. Parrots are smart enough to know when their human is late. Early. Bringing the wrong thing. Saying the wrong thing. Wearing the wrong thing. And, again, the wrong thing.
What appears to be intelligent in one context will look inept at another. Smart is conducting oneself inside a specific context and yielding the maximum profits from the minimum efforts. Parrots are all about maximum anything. They recognized our minimums from the get-go. You cannot grift a parrot.
Cat Smarts vs Dog Smarts vs Parrot Smarts
- Are parrots smarter than dogs? Yes. You can grift a dog into thinking he’s getting a treat when in reality he’s getting a bath and a delightful trip to the vet’s for an anal gland expression. And you can do that yearly.
- Are dogs smarter than cats? No. No other beings on the planet are smarter than cats. I’m not writing this because there is a cat looking at me.
- Are cats smarter than parrots? Contextually, no. Because a cat would never put themselves in a position that requires that much interaction with a human.
- What is the personality of a parrot compared to a dog? A parrot is a successful retired district attorney with a PhD in human behavior. A dog is your favorite grandpa. He’s not interested in making a point, he’s just happy to see you.
- Compared to a cat? There is no comparing cats to any other being on earth. They are supreme beings with no need for minion, mothering, or meddling. I am not writing this statement under duress or coercion by the neighbor’s cat.
- Can a dog and a cat be friends? The dog thinks so.
- Can dog and cat friends outsmart the parrot? The parrot lets them think so.
- If you put a cat in a room … Never mind, you cannot ‘put’ a cat anywhere.
- If you put a dog in a room with a parrot that doesn’t want a dog in the room, what happens? The dog will eat the trail of parrot food the parrot threw into the other room.
Parrots are smart. Smarter than we take the time to notice. Humans don’t make time to take in the intelligence of other humans, let alone companion animals. We aren’t good at taking time to notice. We’re all just too busy trying to be noticed. Which is why parrots are smarter than us. They don’t spend a zeptosecond on being noticed. They are busy being a parrot.
