Ibis sit for resting. Their knees work differently than ours, so they look like a folded lawn chair.
Ibis fold up like lawn chairs.

Matching the local wildlife with your house.

And other reno non-HOA tips.

Kathy LaFollett
4 min readSep 1, 2023


“How do you attract all those birds to your property?”

Ibis and muscovy duck gathering to beg in chorus for snacks.
It’s early yet, we’re missing a lot of grifters.

An older gentleman driving a newer SUV. He’s taken his window down three quarters way resting his chin on his left hand in a most Elementary Watson way. Silver rimmed black-tinted sunglasses glint back at the morning sun.

His wife leans into his driver’s space to look out the window. “Yes! How do you do that?”

“Those white birds look beautiful in your green lawn against your blue house. Your remodeling is really coming along! Just lovely. How do you get them to come in?” He puts the SUV in PARK. He’s staying until I make this clear to him.

His wife nods and grins, “Yes! How lovely to have them. And what kind of ducks are those over there?”

Muscovy are considered an invasive species by those that do not understand history, environmental balances brought on by invasive humans, and that Muscovy do not know they are invasive, or that they are ducks.
Ducks will stare into your windows waiting for movement so they can grab your attention and remind you that you suck and you’re late with the food service.

“Muscovy.” It’s my turn to grin.

“Spectacular. Your home and yard look like a picture in a magazine! So what do you put out to get those birds?” He’s rolled the window down fully now. Wife leaning further into his space. Two Floridian older folk looking forward to four dozen wild birds in their own front yard, if only they knew my secret.

I was on my way down the driveway to grab the empty garbage can. It’s Monday. I first noticed the SUV a week ago. They’d stopped to take pictures of the birds then. She pointed at our new stained glass mailbox, just installed. I watched through the dining room window as she leaned over her husband. She used her phone expertly if not excessively. They blocked traffic while she double checked her shots. I remember her curly white hair. I remember the Muscovy looking up through the window at me disappointed with my attitude.

“Dog chow.”

He pulled his chin off his hand. “Dog food?”

“Dog Chow, specifically, Purina Dog Chow. I’ve tried all the others. Dog chow all the way.”