Musings of the Day;

Recently Cali answered the front door because I was busy reading a book ignoring my phone and doorknockers. I heard him say hello, and disappear outside closing the door behind. A few minutes passed and he opened the door and yelled, “Honey, can you come out here?”

LaFollett B&B Rest Stop, West.

“Sure!” Sure in our house is me looking every parrot and one hound in the eye and reminding them I can see through walls and hear everything. “Be good.”

I opened the door to find my husband and a tall uniformed Florida Wildlife Officer. He was backed up against the house, surrounded by begging ducks. I felt bad for him, by law he couldn’t shoot his way out of this situation.

I looked at Cali and gave the wife to husband look “Well this is interesting.” He responded with the husband to wife look, “You knew this was going to happen sooner or later.”

I looked up and gave the Officer my full attention. And I shook his hand. I like wildlife police. Also, I know my rights. So we were on the same page.

“Ma’am we received a report of your feeding wildlife, specifically Muscovy ducks. The caller is concerned that they may get run over crossing the street due to the feedings.”

“Oh, I see. Well they cross the street because their foraging path has always started by leaving the lake. They just added us to their natural route.”

“I see.” Melinda was pressing his personal space. He glanced down at the duck pressing his personal space. I waited for her to start pulling on his shoelaces. She’s not a patient girl.

“Well it’s my job to let you know what the law states.”

I smile big. I know my rights. “Oh yes! I’ve read the statutes.”

“Oh. That’s excellent. Well you know that you can feed these ducks.”

“Yes.”

“You know that you can not feed protected species. Of which I don’t see any here among these ducks.” Leon joined Melinda in the press. This Officer was back against the wall with his hand rested on his weapon. He hadn’t unsnapped the holster yet. He must be used to the pressure of a dozen ducks not caring one bit about laws or statutes.

Melinda looked up at me. “What’s with this guy?”

I shrugged back in her direction letting her know it wasn’t anything to worry about. But we better discuss it later. Better to press on. She said something under her breath to Leon. Most likely smart ass and unhelpful.

I smiled again. “So if a protected species were to join in the ducks, I would have to stop. Considering that law.”

“Yes ma’am. But I only see you have these ducks, there’s really nothing to worry about.”

“Yes, I know.” I smiled. Again.

Cali stood behind me. My rock. My power source. My patient loving spouse patiently witnessing the law meeting a law abiding citizen knowing her laws and rights. He also knows these ducks are on their last nerve. Three humans and not one yellow bowl of anything tossed. We are an insult to the B&B industry. These barbarians could storm the gates at any minute. This guy could loose his military specific shoe laces and there would be nothing I could do about it.

“I do have to tell you that anyone can, with written consent, trap and humanely euthanized these ducks.”

“Yes. I am aware.”

“Well, my work here is done then. I thank you for your time. I’ll file a report saying we’ve closed this investigation.” It was then I saw a fully trained professional in bullet proof clothing, mil spec boots, loaded weapon, and full radio capabilities try to decide whether he would step over a dozen ducks, or shuffle through the horde demanding recompense for the disruption of services.

Before he left I shook his hand. The good shake I was taught long ago at a business weekend training seminar. You shake with the dominate hand, and cup the joined hands underneath with your other hand. Then you look directly into the eyes of a professional you both admire and appreciate and you tell them your most sincere thank you. And I did. I told him I appreciated what he and his colleagues do every day. And that I appreciated his visit to clarify the current goings on around LBBRS. I was far too happy and excited for him. Now he really wanted to leave.

Melinda really wanted fed.

As he walked the 30 feet of front porch out to his vehicle Leon, Tony, Morty and the new guy I haven’t named slowly followed him out. Walking their best badass boy duck struts. To make sure he left without any trouble. Because they could make that trouble for this guy. If he pushed it. The girls looked at me. Cali looked at me.

“I wonder who called?”

We have our guesses on that matter. But, it doesn’t matter.

For the inconvenience of it all I fed the flock extra bonus rounds. Parrot pellets and all the good stuff I save for morning services. I refreshed their always fresh water bowl. I smiled. Again.

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I am a Companion Animal Advocate, Author, Speaker, and Humorist. I have more words here: https://www.flockcall.com

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Kathy LaFollett

Kathy LaFollett

I am a Companion Animal Advocate, Author, Speaker, and Humorist. I have more words here: https://www.flockcall.com

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